Our Timeline.

In light of Robby and I’s four month wedding anniversary being today (I know, how can we even stand each other after so damn long?!) ,because our story is so unconventional it’s kind of funny, and mostly because I feel like writing a timeline, Here it is, approximate dating and all:

Day 1–  First week of May 2008. I go to house party with friends. Single friend and single me are pissed off that everyone at the party is either ugly or taken so we take an unholy amount of jello shots.  I am also broken-hearted at this time so I take the liberty of drinking even more than usual. I am quite drunk by the time the dude walks in. I also find myself quite excited that SOMEBODY isn’t gross looking so I proceed to stare at him for the next 5 minutes. (he stared back but now tells me that I was eye f***king him.) I ask friend if he’s cute or if it’s just my drunkenness and she gives me the okay. We flirt, juice a cantaloupe, talk of religion and country music, take pictures,and instantly hit it off because we’re obviously both crazies.

He asks for my number and leaves but comes back wanting ‘beer for the road.’ (BAD.) I follow him to the garage and for some reason decide this would be a good time to lip-attack. We make out for five minutes and then he asks with that huge southern drawl and huge smile, “Will you go on a date with me?”  I say yes.

Day 4– We go on our first date. He takes me to Olive Garden. I don’t want any silence or awkward moments so over calamari, I accidentally let out something along the lines of  “Oh this food is so good,by the way,I’m a virgin.” (hopefully that’s not really how I said it,but it did slip out) WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? Boy is genuinely shocked. I am genuinely stupid.  Somebody just shoot me. Oh,wait. What’s that you say? We’re going to shoot guns now? Oh good. Okay. I don’t really want somebody to shoot me. So we go shoot guns. The girl above is obviously not really me (hurrah for google images!) , as I did not look like I had any idea what the heck I was doing. BUT.  I had one hell of a time. Props to the boy for unique first date idea. Definitely a great steam-blower-offer too. He takes me home and neither one of us have the balls to hug/kiss, though we made out on the first date.  Our gate is closed so I jump over it. He laughs at me and I give him the finger. For the next few days, I over-analyze why he didn’t hug me while he is over-analyzing why I gave him the finger.

Day 7– A date or two more and the boy hasn’t called in a couple of days. This could be because of my constant word-vomiting or perhaps because while on the phone with him, I half blacked out and started screaming loudly as I dropped to the floor. He told me to use nose drops (I was sick) and turns out it counts as a medicine. I already had too much medicine that day. Oops.  My friend tells me to call him. I say no, that’s the boys job. Eventually, I end up calling him (I later find out he was playing games and waiting for me to call. Psh.) and we go to my friends to spend the night. We make out in laundry room. I later proceed, without realizing, to drunkenly hump his leg as I make out with him the rest of the night. Proof of my innocence, he later claims.  He leaves at 5am for work but comes back just to give me a kiss goodbye. My heart pitter-patters a little.

Day 8– My daddy is getting pissed off that I’m with this boy so much and he hasn’t met him yet. Considering I have totally screwed up my relationship with my dad because of the last dude I was with, I want to try and start things off right.  Asking a boy to meet your parents after barely a week of knowing him is…um..weird. And a bad idea. Perfect. That’s what I’m looking for. I told myself I’m not doing this heart-break shit again, and I’m in no mood to play anymore games. If this boy is serious, we’ll find out right now. In the car. Something like this. “Hey…my dad wants to meet you.” “Oh. .Really? Wow.” “You don’t have to.” “No. No,I will. I’m just nervous.”  Well,alrighty then. Let’s do this.

Day 9– He meets my dad. He plays basketball with us and sucks pretty bad. My brother and his friend make fun of him behind his back.  (Later, Robby and brother develop a bromance. My brother is much like me in guy form.) My dad gives him a hard time all day. This is good. Time for another test. I think it will be a good idea to make out with boy in laundry room. I have a thing for laundry rooms. Mother catches us and sing songs it across the house, I’m sure.  Oops. Poor boy is 25 and going through this shit for a barely nineteen year old?! Definite points. Later that night, dad tells me not to screw it up. Perfect. He loves him. More points for the boy. Lots more points.

Day 10– Surprisingly, after nose drops and leg-grinding and parent meeting, I haven’t scared him off yet. This guy might be a keeper. After a night of friends, drinks, and lots of kisses we’re laying in bed. He tells me with that huge accent of his, “I think we should start dating.” I, wanting to hear him say it, play stupid. “What does that mean?”….“Like, boyfriend-girlfriend.” I say okay and later call up all of my friends like a giddy schoolgirl. This is my first real boyfriend, after all.

Day 14- Party at friend’s house. Robby and I drink a lot and kiss a lot and say a lot of sweet things. We’ve been together about two weeks. He tells me he loves me and that I’m “The one.” I ask him how he knows that already. He says he just knows. You’re gagging,aren’t you? Usually I would too. The last dude who tried to tell me he loved me for the first time, I yelled at him for thirty minutes. But for some reason, I’m only a little freaked out. Mostly, I’m all bubbly and lightheaded. I tell him I love him back, though I didn’t mean it yet and I knew it. Blame it on the booze and my need to keep feelings in tact.

Day 16- We’re listening to his songs on the computer. He knows I’m really into lyrics at this point and I know he’s more into the beat.  Fade into you- Mazzy Star comes on. I’ve never heard it. He sits me in his lap and tells me it makes him think of me.I listen. I realize I’m kind of falling for this boy a tiny little bit.

Day 17–  Brother, Brother’s girlfriend, Cousin, Robby and I are going to Fiesta Texas. Yee-haw.  My brother decides he approves of  my boyfriend on the car ride there when he refuses to let me listen to the music I want to and in general gives  me a hard time. Goodie, they can relate to making Christina furious all of the time! Secretly makes me happy that they’re hitting it off.  Fun and very hot day. Alas, I promise to get brother home at certain time and I’m more than a few hours late. Dad is ‘Tired of my shit’ and kicks me out. I know he’s just pissed off (him and I are so much alike) and will get over it but hey, I’m all for a sleepover at my boyfriend’s house for a few nights!A little over two weeks of knowing eachother and this sleepover ends up being a permanent one.  Oh, poor boyfriend.

Day 17-Day 28-ish–  We’ve been sleeping in the same bed for a week and a half and dating for close to a month. The dude still isn’t getting any. Poor poor poor poor boyfriend. He’s being so good too. Said he’ll wait as long as he has to. He loves me and all that stuff. Took me to Ikea and we picked out a few things to make my move-in easier and more organized. I’m a bitch and tease him a lot. “You wanna ….. me soooo bad but youuu caaannnn’t” I tell him one night. His mouth drops. This is fun.

Day 29-ish– God. I’m falling in love.

Day 30-ish– I give in.

Day 31-130 ish– We discover a lot about each-other, really fast. As the apartment is shared amongst five people, we are crammed in one room with all of our problems, all of the time. My temper, His lack of being able to deal with things. My need for attention, his need for alone time. (funny enough, this would later reverse.)  We make a lot of love. We fight a lot. Things get thrown a lot (by me). We fake break up a lot. I cry a lot. I get kicked out or thrown out or I leave and go on thirty minute drives often. Neither one of us were prepared for this or expected it to be so hard. There is an incredible amount of passion though and through all of his shit (and mine) it’s worth it. We grow up together and that love word keeps growing bigger too.

Day 140 ish– We move into an apartment without any roomates. It’s ours. His parents (who love me at this point) don’t know we’ve been living together (or so they say). They,along with my brother, help us move into this apartment. Everything now, is better. Everything is so so so much better. We have our space, our own place, and we by now know the other like the back of our hands. It’s a good feeling and everything is right.

Day 200-ish– He proposes. In the laundry room. I told you I have a thing for laundry rooms. I say yes.

1 year,5 months, 3days– We say the big “I do.”

Currently– Well, last night my boy (I still call him my boy) had really dry hands so I put lotion on his fingers. We watched American Idol and cuddled and talked.  We’re like an old married couple that has really hot sex. He treats me so good and I think I visibly shine whenever I talk about him.  He still makes me incredibly giddy and I still have my crazy moments, but he loves that. We still fight a little but we laugh a lot more. We still go to parties and have jello shots but I don’t let him get a beer for the road anymore. I can’t imagine falling asleep without him.  I’m his wife. He’s my husband.  I still have a thing for laundry rooms.